The First Annual MegaMan Contest
by MagnetLord
Summary: Come one, come all, to the ultimate contest. Ever wonder which MegaMan series would win in an all out battle? Who is the REAl MegaMan? Why this stroy is endorsed by 9 out of 10 Dentists?


There is a world, existing for a single purpose.

On it, there is a building so large it covers most of the planet's surface.

The main building houses a big stadium.

Well, actually, big is an inadequate term to describe the sheer enormity of it. It could easily fit five football stadiums.

In the center of this monster of a sports dome there is a stage.

On it stands an Announcer, dressed entirely in the blue tuxedo rarely seen outside nightmares of brides.

He walks up to a podium, illuminated by more lights than a physicist could imagine, and prepares to push a small red button.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Programs, Robots, Hybrids, Aliens, Gods, Demons, Canadians and any other crazy beings that are in our audience today. Today, the most monumental contest ever witnessed anywhere in the multiverse, spanning over four hundred years of history and two universes- "

The Man pushes the button. There is a flash of Light

"OH DEAR GOD! MY EYES! HE'S SO OLD!"

"Oops, wrong button. Sorry"

There is a flash of regular light.

In teleports a large group of things, vaguely humanoid, silhouetted in mist.

"Everyone, let's give a huge round of applause FORRRRRRRRRR Team C!"

Some of the mist dissipates revealing one extremely fat man in a trenchcoat, one extremely wiry old man in a lab coat and two irate robots.

"First, the roboticist, AI expert and naïve old fool Dr. Thomas Light! Let's see what the great man has to say"

Dr. Light: "That's the last time I watch Old School!"

"Ha ha, always a funny guy. Next is his greatest robot ever. He's saved humanity no less than eleven times. He can blast a hole through titanium and wears his underwear outside his pants! Mega Man!"

"It's armor" shouts the blushing blue 'bot"

The announcer looks back out at the audience as another amorphous shape congeals out of the mist.

"Why, if it isn't the Son of Satan himself, Mad Scientist Dr. Albert Grunman Ixavier Wily. He's built more robots that Toyota and he uses them to take over the world. Famous for ending every robot's name in -Man, please welcome Dr. Wily! adn just between you andme, I think the reasonhe's ending his robot's name in man is to compenstae for his really small-"

"LIES!ALL LIES" shouts themadscientist.

"Next is everyone's favorite anti-hero, he's bad, he's black and he writes all his innermost thoughts and feelings in a diary!"

The MegaTron flickers on and displays a small red book bound in leather bearing the title: Bass' Book of Feelings, everyone else stay OUT! This means you Wily!"

"WHAT THE DEVIL? HOW DID YOU GET THAT! YOU LITTLE !(#$&&!$

Technical Difficulties, Please listen to this soothing music----------------

Due to technical difficulties there is no soothing music, Sorry---------------

Instead listen to the Author taunt you: NYANYANYANYANAYA!-----------

"AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON" shouts the ebony robot.

"Well there you have it folks, Bass in a swear-word riddled nutshell. Great news! Everyone in the studio audience has received their own personal copy of Bass' own diary. My favorite part's the poetry, like this great piece!"

_Roses are red_

_Violets are black_

_I wish Roll_

_Would love me back_

_Plasma is hot_

_Daisies are weeds_

_Oh how I wish Mega Man_

_Would just DIE!_

Laughter rocks the audience as the ebony robot stares open-mouthed at the announcer, its face slowly turning crimson.

"Give a round of applause for Light, Wily, Bass and Mega Man representing Team Classic!"

The stadium is rocked with cheers and shouts. Team C walk out onto a stage.

"Next, the funny antics of those futuristic fellows, Team X"

A slender blue reploid teleports in in a flash of blue.

"Meet Dr. Lights last and best creation, X. Now, X, out of the Maverick Hunters, they say you're the funny one. Is this true?"

The blue reploid looks seriously at the audience.

"Yes"

HAHAHAHAHA!

"Oh gosh" says the Announcer "That silly X, and what would he be without the famed A-Class hunter, the leader of the Øth Unit, legendary Maverick hunter: Zero!"

A tall red reploid with a ponytail cascading down its back moon-walks in and takes a bow, staggers and falls down, all but lifeless.

"Damn, I've been stabbed! It's all up to you X wheeze Avenge pant my death" gasps the red robot.

The tall blue reploid buries his face in his hands.

"Zero did you leave your Z-Sabre on again when you put it in your sheath?"X asks, embarrassed.

The red robot lies in a puddle of his own motor oil. He gropes a hand around his back until he finds something in his mounds of hair. He pulls a shimmering green blade out of his back.

"Maybe dies"

The crowd is silent. A faint _bawoop _sound is heard. Zero crawls out from under the announcer's podium.

"Whoops, my bad!" he says happily.

The announcer looks at the spot where Zero died, the body is no longer there.

"But…wha-…how?" stutters the announcer "Well, that was…interesting… anyways, introducing the next member of Team X: A Mysteriously Cloaked Figure"

A tall person walks on stage, covered in a cloak.

"Hah! These fools will never realize who I REALLY am. BWAHAHAHAHAHA"

X and Zero: "Hey Sigma! Over here! You're on our side!"

"-HAHAHA… WHAT? How do you know who I am?" demands the cloak

"Well, every other time there's been a mysteriously cloaked figure, it's either been a monk or you" replies Zero

"And you killed all the monks, remember?" adds X

The eerily cloaked figure shuffles despondently towards where Zero and X are standing.

"…Well, good cloaks are expensive. I did try midnight blue this time, to spice things up you know…" mutters Sigma

"Well, errr, it's a good cloak" begins X uneasily, he looks to Zero.

"Yeah, we ummmm, were almost fooled, by uhhhhh-" mumbled the crimson hunter

"Your cool new color," added X

"Really? Awww shucks, group hug" says the cloak.

The group embraces, the awwdience goes "Awwwwwwwwwww" and the announcer announces:

"Well, since we now have two reincarnation-prone robot, why not add another? Please give a warm round of applause for Vile"

A Boba Fett look-alike walks out of the mist.

"So this is where the belly of the Sarlacc leads"

"Oops, wrong button again, sorry Mr. Fett!" apologizes the announcer.

Boba Fett disappears in a flash of light and is replaced by Vile who stands with Team X on their own platform.

"Oy! How do you press the wrong button when there's only one you can press dumb-dumb?" shouts Bass.

The audience breaks out into guffaws.

The announcer violently jabs the red button on the podium in front of him. A DefiniKill laser from Megaman 2(You know, those annoying ones in QuickMan's stage. How I hate those) appears and blasts Bass. All that's left is a deep smoking crater.

"Anyone else got a problem?" demands the announcer angrily.

Silence.

The announcer smiles once again, "A round of applause for Team X-"

"Ohhhh, please, someone help me! I'm not dead, just very badly burnt," groansa voicefrom the hole

"Please send for help groan anybody!" It continues.

The announcer taps the button again and a plasma cannon fires into the hole.

The announcer smiles "And now-"

"You shot me! Right in the head! Owwww!"

The announcer cringes and jabs the button hard. An atomic bomb falls into the crater and a beam of energy blasts straight up from the crater.

"As I was say, the next group of plucky little-"

"Where'd you get an atomic bomb? Oh gosh, now I have an awful headache…"

The announcer gently taps the button. Dr. Light suddenly finds himself in a kilt hovering overtop the smoking hole.

"AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHdie"

The entire stadium resonates with quiet. The announcer continues:

"The next group of energetic contestants is Team EXE. Without further ado, I introduce to you…Lan Hikari and MegaMan.Exe!"

A small kid in a bright orange vest and black shorts comes roller-blading on stage.

"Ooohh, cool, a contest! I wonder if there'll be net-battling?" babbled the hyperactive twelve-year-old like a… well like a hyperactive twelve year old.

"Lan, don't you think we shouldn't go walking into strange portals? Do you even know where we are?" demands a voice from Lan's hip.

"Jeez, I only went in because it was shiny and had lots of bright lights. I mean, if it leads to a stadium then it can't be dangerous"

"Then why am I getting such high readings on my Geiger counter?" replies MegaMan.Exe

"And now, he's the guy you love to hate, he's crazier than an insane Garry Larson, he's scary, he's ancient, put your hands together for Mr. Wily, of Alternate Universe 47-22a"

An old man lurches out of the mist, clothed in his traditional gray attire complete with skull cane.

"But what would this duo of evil be without a son?" announces the announcer "Please welcome the King of Kamikazee, the Sultan of Satan, the Son of Dr. Wily. He was previously the president of Nation X. A warm welcome for Dr. Regal!"

A man in a simple gray lab coat and monocle walks out and faces his father.

"It has been too long, my Son."

"Yes Father, but let it not be any longer"

"Oh, by the way, I like the new name: Nebula Gray. Very cool"

"Just keeping up the family name and profession."

"If the Family reunion is done, I'd like to introduce the final contestants, from the year 24XX. The one and only, Zero!" shouts the announcer.

"Wait, how can it be the one and only Zero if I'm Zero?" demands the scarlet warrior from Team X

The announcer taps his Big Red Button™ and a fan appears out of nowhere, blowing Zero off the stage…

"Ha! It'll take more than a simple drop of a few feet to kill me!"

…Onto the sharp spikes of fatal death.

The audience gives a collective 'Ouch'.

The announcer looks eagerly at the impaled Zero.

"Oh…damn…the damn... damn die"

"As I was saying," continues the announcer "The final team, Team Z appears to be arriving now" as he says this, a young woman clad entirely in pink and a robot in a blackbody suit, red vest and thong appear.

"In the bleak future, comes an old hero with some new tricks. The wielder of the Zero Knuckle, Shield Boomerang, Triple Chain Rod and the Z-Sabre, Zero! Who's that cute thing in pink? Why it's Dr. Ciel, inventor of the Ciel System and Satellite Cyber-Elves."

The two characters walk silently onto the designatedplatform.

"And, as the next half are the four Guardia-" The announcer is interrupted by what appears to be a man in a floating clown costume and a beard that would make a Frenchman proud comes drifting through the mist, cackling incessantly. Followed closely by a faintly glowing blue robot.

"Wow, what a surprise! Attention everyone, it appears there has been a change of plans! From the Evil side comes Dr. Weil, maniacal reploid re-animator and his lackey, Copy X"

The clown man continues to laugh, seemingly at nothing while the shimmering blue reploid stares blankly at his own hand.

Copy X: "W-w-hy d-d-on't they fing? W-w-hy d-d-on't they fing? W-w-hy d-d-on't they fing? W-w-hy d-d-on't they fi-"

"Shut-up you clinking clattering collection of caliginous cogs!" says the clown-man while smacking the blue robot soundly.

The audience applauds mostly out of fear.

The announcer taps his omnipotent red button and the MegaTron reveals a large score board with the avatars of each group above a column marked 'Points'.

"Everyone, please give a big standing ovation for!"

**_The First Annual MegaMan Contest!_**

A huge blast of blue confetti begins to rain down.

"The rules are simple, compete in challenges and earn points. The group with the most points win the ultimate prize, which, in the interest of suspense, will remain a secret!"

"So, young and old, robot and human, prepare for the most intense competition ever to be seen on the face of any planet ever!"


End file.
